Occupy yourself with things you enjoy and surround yourself with friends. Or does he fill your thoughts even when you’re surrounded by a crowd? If it’s the latter, then you’re definitely Go smitten. In thinking about why you like him, think about how much you really know about him. At the end of the day, it’s about being with someone you can be yourself with.

Understandably so; it’s far-fetched to believe that there’s only one “perfect” match out there for each of us. They’re rebounding with a few people but making you feel like you’re the special one. A thing that many of us are guilty of when we are seeing someone that we simply stick with for the attention, is if you think of him as your back up plan. This can mean that you only contact him when you have seen what the rest of your friends and family are up to over the weekend, to find that they are busy. If you can’t stop projecting issues from your last relationship onto your current one, you might need to take a step back, says Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and the owner of Exclusive Matchmaking.

All of these things can be emotionally and mentally draining and require a lot of time, energy, and effort. If you’re friends who used to spend a lot of time hanging out, it may be wise to spend time with other friends for the time being. When you’re ready to move on, distance can be your best friend. Even an occasional text, call, or Snapchat can rekindle those feelings you thought you’d already left behind.

Should You Find a Partner Who’s Just Like You?

That said, if you worry that you were a little standoffish or far from flirty on the date (I get it…nerves!), you can reassure them that you enjoyed yourself via text. It’s not a job interview—if you know you showed your enthusiasm in person, the ball is in their court. Self-care is important all-year round, but it’s essential during the cold, dark winter months.

It will only leave you feeling inadequate because it’ll feel like this is the person your ex “chose” over you when in reality, they’re just the person your ex chose for themselves. Forcing yourself to stop thinking about something is counterproductive. Instead of fighting your feelings, allow yourself to feel them. Feeling like you lost at something will only make it harder for you to move on from the breakup. Ground yourself in these thoughts to keep from spiraling into a place where you lose the true sense of what’s happening. It triggers a sense of negative competition between you two where you’re both trying to outdo each other when what’s really supposed to be happening during a breakup is acceptance and moving forward.

You aren’t the only one he likes

Feelings of love can and do fade, but this generally isn’t a rapid process. And it’s very normal to feel a lot of discomfort in the meantime. Simply realizing your relationship isn’t going anywhere probably won’t make your feelings disappear overnight, but it’s a significant step.

Panache People 101

If you get nervous about them cheating or going behind your back to do something you don’t like, it means the foundation of your relationship is fragile. Second-guessing what you say to them is a worrying sign. The longer you’re in a relationship with someone, the easier it should be to talk to one another. If conversations become increasingly difficult and you find yourself scared to open up, it’s a sign you’re not comfortable being vulnerable around them. That’s very worrying, and you may want to consider moving on if this is the case.

Being in a relationship is a lot like having a business partner. If they do something good, it should feel good for the both of you. If you find yourself getting bummed out or angry when they get a promotion, crush a big test, or hit a personal goal, it’s a sign that you’re not on the same page. It may not be worth going forward if they’re scared to commit.

Speak to a certified and experienced relationship coach to help you decide whether to date a person you are not that attracted to . You may want to try speaking to someone via RelationshipHero.com for empathetic, specific, and genuinely insightful relationship advice at its most convenient. There are loads of reasons to get to know someone you might not be instantly attracted to, and they’re not all just about finding your perfect partner. You might feel like dating someone you’re not physically attracted to is a waste of time.

Lucy is a travel and wellness writer currently based in Gili Air, a tiny Indonesian island. After over a year of traveling, she’s settled in paradise and spends her days wandering around barefoot, practicing yoga and exploring new ways to work on her wellbeing. It never bodes well for a relationship when you feel as though you are accepting someone who is not exactly what you want because you think you cannot have what you want. They open you up to new ideas or different perspectives.

The less idle time you have, the better — if there’s less time to think about your ex, that’s time saved, spending it on something that you enjoy or adds better value to your life. At the same time, if you are looking for something serious and you think this person might be “the one,” that’s a sign that the relationship is probably worth pursuing. There’s always the possibility that things won’t work out, but until you’re ready to take that risk and be vulnerable with him, you aren’t giving him or the relationship a real chance. Instead, you are unafraid to make yourself vulnerable to this guy.